Evaluating the Status of Your Partnership
4 Effective Approaches to Enhancing Your Relationship
How frequently do we encounter individuals expressing their feelings of being undervalued by their partner? Have we ourselves experienced this sentiment? Why do our attitudes toward our partners change over time, even though they should hold the utmost importance in our lives? And what impact does this have on the quality of our relationships?
In the initial stages of a relationship, we tend to be captivated by the wonderful qualities of our partner. Everything feels fresh and exhilarating. We eagerly share our joy with others and go to great lengths to make our partners feel cherished and valued. However, as time passes – be it six months, six years, or even sixty years – we reach a point where things become familiar, and the thrill, excitement, and energy dissipate. The relationship stagnates, and if we fail to address these issues, it may eventually wither away.
So, what can we do? How can we sustain that beautiful sense of wonder and passion for our partners? If your relationship has veered off track, don’t despair – it doesn’t have to be the end. There are ways to nurture and improve a relationship.
Embracing Freedom from Imposed Rules
During the initial stages of a relationship, we refrain from imposing rules on our partners. We accept them as they are and even appreciate their unique qualities. However, over time, we develop beliefs that dictate how our partners should act, think, and even feel. We hold them to expectations we would never impose on anyone else. And when they don’t conform to these expectations, we withhold our unconditional love or, even worse, treat them with disdain and indifference.
Consider, for instance, a man who harbors unconditional love for his grandchildren. In his eyes, they can do no wrong. It’s a love that is pure, joyful, and fulfilling in a way that nothing else can match. Now, why doesn’t he extend the same love and appreciation to his partner, who actually needs it more than anyone else? Why are different standards at play?
If you desire to reignite the romance and effect positive changes in your relationship, take a step back and ask yourself: “What truly captivates you about your partner? What makes them the most important person in your life?” Release the grip of rules and redirect your focus toward loving your partner for who they genuinely are, rather than who you want them to be – because that’s who you fell in love with. Transcend the limitations of expectations and embrace the present moment, sharing the love that resides within you for your partner.
Celebrating the Harmony of Masculine and Feminine Energies
All too often, we fall into the trap of trying to mold our partners in our own likeness, expecting them to communicate, behave, and think exactly as we do. When they deviate from these expectations, frustration sets in, and our reactions may become curt. But what if we viewed these differences as valuable gifts instead of obstacles to overcome?
As we understand from the principle of polarity, a thriving relationship requires the interplay of opposing forces. One partner brings a masculine energy, while the other embodies a feminine energy. Gender is inconsequential when it comes to polarity – an individual can exude either masculine or feminine qualities. The key is the presence of contrasting energies that enable the relationship to flourish.
For instance, a masculine partner may find themselves growing frustrated by the emotional nature of their feminine counterpart. The masculine energy might yearn for the feminine energy to be more logical, mirroring their own disposition. However, if their partner were to become more logical and suppress their emotional instincts, the polarity would diminish. By shifting our perspective from frustration to appreciation, we can recognize that the feminine dynamic perfectly complements the masculine core of the original partner. With this mindset shift, the little things that might have once caused frustration and annoyance to the masculine partner can now ignite excitement and invigoration.
Appreciate the intricacies of masculine and feminine energies within your relationship. The masculine energy embodies direction and purpose, while the feminine energy fosters emotion and connection. The masculine seeks appreciation, while the feminine yearns for understanding. It is these very differences that create the passionate spark that brings us closer to one another. By consciously choosing to shift our perspective towards appreciation, we not only perceive our partner in a new light but also discover deeper levels of connection.
Cultivating an Empowered State
The next step in nurturing your relationship is to take stock of the state of mind you bring to it.
Imagine a relationship where both partners are in a beautiful state – they are genuinely excited about each other, eager about life, prioritizing their well-being, and radiating energy. What kind of relationship do you envision them creating? It would be a relationship marked by peak states, where love, passion, and enthusiasm infuse everything they do; a relationship where respect and reverence are the guiding principles.
Now, what if both partners are in a good state? What kind of relationship would arise from that? If you guessed “good,” you’re correct. However, settling for a good relationship is akin to accepting mediocrity when you have the potential for something extraordinary.
Now, consider two people who find themselves in lousy states. Even if they love each other deeply, when both individuals in a relationship are burdened by stress, frustration, aggravation, or even depression, they are likely to say and do things they will later regret. They might unknowingly direct their personal struggles towards their partner, engaging in hurtful interactions. This state of being drains excitement, passion, and joy from the relationship. Over time, it can undoubtedly erode the very foundation of a partnership.
Overcoming Challenging Moments
Life is far from perfect, and neither individuals in a relationship will always find themselves in an ideal state. There are bound to be times when both partners are not feeling great or even just okay. However, it becomes crucial to acquire the skills to break free from these negative states so that we can show up for our partner in the best possible way.
When you notice that your conversation is being influenced by negativity or sense tension building between you and your partner, it’s essential to consciously choose to change your state. Engage in activities that can transform your physiology, such as taking a walk, having a refreshing shower, enjoying a nourishing snack, hydrating yourself with water, going for a drive, or even taking a dip in a pool. By making radical changes in your physiology – altering your breath, movement, facial expressions, and vocal qualities – you can instantly shift your emotional state, as Tony has so effectively taught us.
Another powerful way to change your state is by shifting your focus. As Tony emphasizes, “where focus goes, energy flows.” Take a step back and assess how you are approaching your relationship. How do you treat your partner? How do you make them feel? Redirect your focus towards love, kindness, and compassion – the same focus you undoubtedly had at the beginning of your relationship – and witness the transformative effect it can have on your state of being.
Remember, love is not merely a noun; it is a verb that requires action. If you desire to sustain love and passion and make positive changes in your relationship, it will demand concerted effort. Forgetting how to appreciate each other and failing to show up for one another puts your relationship at risk of enduring irreparable damage over time. Even the tiniest wounds struggle to heal without love and kindness. Therefore, make the conscious decision to show up for your partner as you did in the beginning. Treat them with the same love and devotion you exhibited when you first came together. And you will discover that by mastering this approach, there will be no end in sight.