Exploring the State of Your Union
4 Techniques to Transform Your Relationship Positively.
Have you ever heard someone express feeling unappreciated by their partner? Perhaps you’ve even experienced it yourself. It’s intriguing to contemplate why we treat our partners differently as time passes, despite them being the most significant individuals in our lives. How does this affect the overall quality of our relationships?
At the start of a relationship, we tend to focus on the wonderful aspects of our partner. Everything feels new and exhilarating. We eagerly share the news of our happiness with others, going to great lengths to make our partners feel cherished and valued. However, as time goes by—whether it’s been six months, six years, or even 60 years—we reach a point where things become routine, and the thrill, excitement, and energy dissipate. The relationship stagnates, and unless we address these issues, it eventually withers away.
So, what can we do? How can we sustain that beautiful sense of awe and passion for our partners? If your relationship has veered off course, fear not—it doesn’t have to be the end. There are ways to enhance a relationship.
Embracing Freedom from Constraints
In the early stages of a relationship, we don’t impose rules on our partners. We accept them as they are and appreciate the unique qualities they possess. However, over time, we begin to establish expectations about how our partners should behave, think, and even feel. We hold them to a different standard, one that we wouldn’t impose on anyone else. When they don’t meet these expectations, we withdraw our unconditional love, or worse yet, treat them with contempt and indifference.
Consider the love a man has for his grandchildren. In his eyes, they can do no wrong. It’s a love untainted by judgment, pure joy, and complete bliss. It fulfills him in a way that nothing else can. Now, why doesn’t he have the same for his partner, who actually needs it more than anyone else? Why do different rules apply?
If you desire to rekindle the romance and initiate positive transformations in your relationship, take a step back and ask yourself: “What do you adore about your partner? What makes them the most important person in your life?” Let go of the constraints and shift your focus to loving your partner for who they truly are, rather than who you wish them to be—after all, that’s who you fell in love with. Free yourself from the confines of your mind and let your heart guide you. Cease living with manufactured expectations and embrace the present moment, sharing the love that resides within you for your partner.
Embracing the Beauty of Masculine and Feminine Energies
Frequently, we make the mistake of trying to mold our partners into replicas of ourselves. We expect them to communicate, behave, and think just like us. When they deviate from these expectations, frustration creeps in, and we may even respond curtly. However, what if we viewed our differences as valuable gifts instead of obstacles to overcome?
As the law of polarity teaches us, a thriving relationship requires the interplay of opposing forces. One partner brings a masculine energy, while the other contributes a feminine energy. Gender is irrelevant when it comes to polarity; an individual can embody either the masculine or feminine essence. What matters is the presence of contrasting energies to nurture the relationship.
For instance, a masculine partner may find the emotional nature of the feminine partner frustrating. The masculine energy yearns for the feminine energy to exhibit more logic, mirroring their own disposition. Yet, if the feminine partner were to suppress their emotional instincts and become solely logical, the polarity would diminish. By shifting perspective and appreciating rather than being frustrated, they can recognize that the feminine dynamic beautifully complements the masculine core. The aspects that once caused irritation and agitation for the masculine partner can become sources of excitement and vitality after this shift in mindset.
Appreciate the intricate dance between masculine and feminine energies in your relationship. Masculinity embodies direction and purpose, while femininity thrives in emotional connection. Where masculinity seeks appreciation, femininity yearns for understanding. These differences ignite passion—the spark that draws us closer. By consciously choosing to cultivate appreciation, you will not only see your partner in a new light, but also discover how to forge an even deeper connection.
Cultivating an Empowering State
The next step toward enhancing your relationship is to examine the state of mind you bring to it.
When both individuals in a relationship embody a beautiful state—when they radiate enthusiasm for each other, embrace life, prioritize self-care, and brim with vitality—what kind of relationship do you think they can create? They are capable of fostering a relationship in a state of peak performance, approaching every aspect with love, passion, and excitement, treating one another with utmost respect and reverence.
Now, consider what would unfold if both individuals were in a good state. You might say that it would lead to a “good” relationship, and you’d be correct. However, settling for good stifles the potential for greatness. Why settle for a good relationship when you can have an extraordinary one?
Now, contemplate a scenario where both individuals are in negative states. Even if they love each other, when both partners experience stress, frustration, aggravation, or even depression, their words and actions may lead to regret. They may unconsciously project their unresolved issues onto one another, resorting to hurtful remarks. Joy, passion, and excitement diminish significantly. Over time, such negativity can irreversibly erode a relationship.
Transforming from a Negative State
Undoubtedly, life presents its fair share of challenges. There will be moments when both individuals in a relationship find themselves in less-than-ideal states, and at times, not even in an okay state. However, it becomes crucial to master the art of breaking free from these negative states, allowing us to show up for our partners in the best possible way.
When you notice that your conversations are dominated by negativity or tension is building between you and your partner, consciously decide to change your state. Engage in activities that bring about a shift in your physiology. Take a brisk walk, indulge in a refreshing shower, nourish yourself with a healthy snack, hydrate with water, embark on a drive, or immerse yourself in a pool. These actions will prompt a radical shift in your physiology—your breath, your movements, your facial expressions, your vocal qualities—and instantly transform your emotional state.
Another effective method to change your state is to redirect your focus. Often emphasizes, “where focus goes, energy flows.” Step back and evaluate how you are approaching your relationship. How do you treat your partner? How do your actions make them feel? Shift your focus towards love, kindness, and compassion—the very focus that undoubtedly guided you in the early stages of your relationship—and witness how it influences your state.
Remember, love is not merely a noun; it is an active verb that requires continuous effort. If you wish to sustain love and passion and learn how to effect positive changes in your relationship, it demands dedicated commitment. When we forget the art of appreciation and fail to truly show up for one another, we risk inflicting irreparable damage over time. Even the tiniest wounds struggle to heal without the presence of love and kindness. So make the resolute decision to show up for your partner just as you did in the beginning. Treat them with the same love and devotion that marked the early days of your connection. And you will discover that by learning how to do so, there will be no end in sight.